08 June 2020 - Plague Journal Day 88

We all are still sheltering in place, but I'm here to keep you sane and entertained.
One could hardly ask for much more than that, now could one?

Let's continue the pattern started a couple days ago of posting things I had written for other purposes. Today I share a very short story - probably what would be called "flash fiction" these days - that was written many years ago, just because. See if you can follow the action to its somewhat unsavory conclusion.

HEMORRHOID DAYS

A madcap romp, wherein alimentary notions are analyzed -

right on down the line.

Contentedly ruminating over cottage fries and cottage cheese, Perry Stalsis took over.

"Down!," he cried, suddenly taken with himself, "Down into the caverns; the dark, moist, warm regions await, and we are no match for the flashing, smashing, grinding white of this diner!"

So down they went. Cottage (both fries and cheese) sped slickly down, driven by the force of Perry's impetus.

Arriving eventually in the dark caverns below, they found their resolve dissolving into an acidic sea of acerbicism (or what might be called acerbicity?).

Eventually, however, they were reduced to basics – floating, drifting aimlessly in the warm darkness; waiting and not waiting for whatever might next befall them.

Perry Stalsis, stalwart fellow that he was, would not keep them waiting too long: "Down again! There are tunnels a-winding below, and to stay here is death – there may be light at the end of the tunnel. Down!"

Once again, Perry's force moved their otherwise irresolute forms into motion. Somewhat more disorganized than before, they moved downward into the tunnel.

For a seeming eternity, they slowly wound their way through the crazily winding length of tunnel. It was as though they were in the interstices of a madman's conception of the Holland Tunnel (Southern Annex, of course), but, fairly undaunted, onward they went.

Internal dissension broke out, and flew as a wind before them; whither they knew not, nor even cared. Yet, they followed in its wake, scenting its eager expansion in their eroding sensibilities.

At last, there seemed to be a ray, no, a glimmer, of hope shining ahead.

An angry red, pulsating light shone briefly forth, only to be quickly dimmed nearly to extinguishment.

"Hurry!," cried Perry Stalsis, the only one seemingly still possessing the force of his will. "This is it! Our escape lies ahead!"

Forward they sped, packing hard close in their precipitous haste. And well it was that they did, for they were able quickly to pass by the fiery-red exit of the tunnel, only to fall, willy-nilly, into a cold pool of water.

Looking back, they saw the fiery-red tunnel exit being occluded; a loud rush of water hit, and they were draw down deep into the dark by some hard, sucking force!

The End

Keep Calm and Stay Away.
I'll be back tomorrow.