Wednesday, May 05, 2021

Able Was I Ere I Saw Elba - 05 May 2021 - Plague Journal Day 419

Micah 6:8
Genesis 2:20-25
Yes, your life matters.

We all are still sheltering in place, but I'm here to keep you sane and entertained.
One could hardly ask for much more than that, now could one?

The first thing to celebrate today is that this is the 87th anniversary of the first Three Stooges film's release! Yes, I know Shemp wouldn't have been in that first release, but I don't care, because Shemp was the best third stooge.


(No, I don't know which film was their first. If you care to do the research and find out the answer, please let me know in the comments below.)


Next up is another anniversary. This is the 200th anniversary of the death of Napoleon Bonaparte, the famed Corsican/French military officer, political leader, Emperor of Europe, and and temporary resident of Elba.
I hope that you'll enjoy this brief tale of an encounter with said exile, transcribed from the journals of Baron Prescott J. Urbanek: (following text copyright 2000, administered by Grand Teuton Press)

Episode One – A Brief Encounter with a Deposed Ruler

It was sometime in the Early Summer of 1814 when I found myself between adventures, sailing slightly less than aimlessly about the Mediterranean Sea. Being loath to allow myself what ordinary men consider luxury – that being a time of rest and relaxation – I determined to find somewhat wherewith I might occupy myself and my companions, much, I imagine, to their concomitant delight.

Day followed upon calm, nearly windless day, until, at length, we espied upon the breast of the horizon what had the appearance of a small, yet jolly island. I resolved at that moment to land there and to discover the secrets of this isle, for secrets I had little doubt were there in abundance.

A stout wind having arisen shortly after this decision had been taken, we were fairly swept to our destination on the wings of Zephyr, or one of his courtiers. Imagine, dear reader, my surprise and delight to discover that we had landed upon the Island of Elba – new home to the famously deposed Corsican, Napoleon Bonaparte.

Our paths having crossed at other times and places (which are much too tedious to detail here), we immediately fell to conversation, and conviviality ruled the day – and the night, were I to be frank. The somewhat diminutive Lion of Naples – as I take his given name – had fallen from the heights, yet retained the title of Emperor, and reigned over his new realm with grace, pride, and no little choler.

At any rate, the following day, it being a Thursday as I recall, Leo (as I found it pleasant to call him) led me about the island for nearly the full day, stopping only once, and that for a brief luncheon, it lasting well under two hours. It troubled me somewhat to see how the formerly energetic and ebullient Emperor had been brought low by a pain in his leg. He laid the blame for this pain to the account of a horse which had kicked him shortly before it expired – although I never heard the reason for its demise – but I had my own, darker imaginings. Leo's description of the pain struck me as being nearly identical to that I had found in the writings of the bard, in reference to the sufferings of one J. Falstaff; in short, I suspected a dose of the gout. I wasted little time in sharing this thought with my host, and he seemed receptive to the idea that his pain might be lessened by means of various medicants of which I had possession.

That very evening, after we had supped as elegantly as his small cadre of barely one thousand men would allow, I rummaged through my supplies, seeking that one bottle which might prove of use. A M. Cipriani proved most helpful in my search, and it was he who noted the label on a particular vial which proclaimed its contents to be good for "what ails ye" – what better recommendation could there be, we wondered. Nor were we to be disappointed. In accordance with the directives on the label of the bottle – Pure Cyprus Spring Water – we added a tincture of almond oil which added a delicious contra-flavore as they would say in Firenze. 

This blend of the slate-filtered philtre with the almond oil seemed to both soothe and energize my imperial host. In but a short time, his leg ceased to pain him, his colour began to improve, and his belly began once again to swell to its wonted size.  All was well with the world save one thing only – my dear Leo was not running it. His newfound Vigour and Vitality nearly burst from him in a fit of pique and spleen: "Mon Dieu, j'etais capable, avant que j'ai vu Elbe! Remplis mon verre!"

I expect that this potion should aid in his rule over Elba, and in his dreams of returning to France – only time will tell.

PJU



Keep Calm and Stay Away.
I'll be back tomorrow.
The mental health issues related to our lockdown and the pandemic are especially hard for people with depression. NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, has a 24 hour helpline: 800-950-6264.

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