I'm a Special Interest,

and you can too! (to paraphrase Mr. Colbert)

How droll it is to hear our Democratic leaders bleating about those nasty "special interests" and what they'll do to our nation if not headed off by their tireless work and vigilance on our behalf.

Well, this got me to thinking about special interests, and I've decided that since our current president refused public funding of his campaign (the first to do so), then he must have raised only special interest money.

Think about it: there are very few things that a government can do for all of its citizens. Not surprisingly, they line up nicely with the enumerated powers of the federal government in our Constitution. National defense, enforcement of contracts, police power, and limited ability to raise revenue to fund those kinds of activities - that's really about it.

Anything that entails taking something (e.g. taxes) from one group of citizens to benefit another group of citizens is nothing less than dealing with special interests.

So, if there's something I want you to pay for the government to do for me, I'm a special interest! This is a very liberating thought, don't you agree?

The way I'm thinking of this is, I don't want the State to force me to pay for what another citizen wants for himself. At the same time I don't want the State to force someone else to pay for what I want for myself. It's really pretty simple. Let the State enforce contracts among citizens, protect our borders and sovereignty, and maintain the agreed-upon rule of law.

That's something only a special interest could hate.